Knock It Off, You Crazy Kids!
by lesbianpapyrus
Summary: Alphys, Mettaton, and Papyrus all sleep over at Undyne's house. It goes about as well as you'd expect. #15 of a series of Undertale ship drabbles for LGBT Pride Month. (Rated T for a fair bit of swearing and one direct mention of sex.)


"You are _so_ going down, Metal Butt."

" _Au contraire,_ darling! _You're_ going to lose this time."

"But what if _I_ win this time? Or Alphys?"

"Not gonna happen, Papyrus. I'm gonna beat all your asses," Undyne bragged. "Okay, Alphys. Pick the track. I think this is gonna be the last one for the night, because you're all gonna be crying from losing so hard."

"And it's also 3 A.M.," Alphys muttered under her breath. She stared at the screen where the race tracks for Mario Kart were listed and scrolled down until she reached the one she wanted. An evil smile stretched across her face.

Mettaton's eyes widened. "Alphys, _no,_ oh my god."

Papyrus sighed resignedly. "I suppose it was inevitable."

" _Fuck_ you, Alphys, _fuck you."_ Undyne's mouth hung open in shock. "I can't believe you would betray me like this!"

"Oh, yes!" Alphys cackled. _"Rainbow Road!"_

Mettaton made a sobbing noise as the game started and the countdown began. "This is _hell,_ Alphys, how could you do this to us!"

"Honestly? So you all would sh-shut up and we could go to bed," Alphys admittedly wearily. "I'm tired."

The race began, and all four players leaned forward simultaneously. The tension in the room could have been cut with a knife.

Alphys looked calm on the outside, but her heart was pounding. Papyrus was leaning so far forward he was nearly bent in half. Undyne couldn't even sit still; she stood up and bounced back and forth, every movement violent and jerky.

By some miracle, Mettaton had made it to first place. He smirked at Undyne. "Looks like dear Undies is going to have to eat her words soon."

Undyne bared her teeth in fury. "When this is over, you're gonna wish you'd never even picked up the controller."

Mettaton didn't care. He was nearing the final lap and he was confident he would win this time, or at least beat the other three.

Then his remote made that fatal noise.

"No, no, no NO _NO!_ WHO JUST BLUE SHELLED ME?!"

"Sorry."

" _PAPYRUS?!"_

"I had the powerup! I wasn't going to let it go to waste!" Papyrus defended himself.

"Ha HA, take _that,_ asshole!" Undyne almost fell down laughing as she sped ahead of Mettaton, who was still sputtering apoplectically at his boyfriend.

The race was clear. Papyrus and Alphys had both fallen off the edge of the track too many times to place high. Mettaton's mishap dropped him to 6th place. Undyne barely managed to place 1st, a great feat for Rainbow Road.

"FUHUHUHU, _SUCK MY—"_

"Alright, th-that's enough!" Alphys cried.

"No way, I fucking won _Rainbow Road,_ and Metal Butt got 6th, that's four times in a row you've lost to me!"

Mettaton threw his controller down. "You know what, Undyne? You only won by luck! If that traitor sitting next to me hadn't blue shelled me, I would've won, and you know it!"

"Hey! I said I was just trying to get rid of it, I was focusing on my own racing! If I'd known you were up front—" Papyrus protested.

"EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Alphys screamed. "I WANNA GO TO BED!"

Everyone else stared at her. She started to sweat. "Sorry," she mumbled.

Undyne dropped to the floor and put an arm around her. "It's okay, Alphie. It is really late. Let's shut down the TV and get the blankets out."

Everyone set out their sleeping bags, blankets, and pillows on the floor.

Undyne pointed at Mettaton. "You're on breakfast duty tomorrow morning."

"What? Why me? You can't make me do anything," the robot challenged.

"My house, my rules. You lost to me four times. You're making breakfast tomorrow." Undyne's tone was final as she turned off the table lamp and cuddled up next to Alphys.

Mettaton pouted, but he didn't feel like arguing. He climbed into his sleeping bag with Papyrus, who still seemed upset over the race.

"I'm really sorry for doing that, Mettaton, I really wouldn't have done it if I'd known you were in first," the skeleton whispered.

Mettaton waved his hand as he settled in, pulling Papyrus close. "Oh, baby, it's alright. It's just a game. No need to worry." He nuzzled his face affectionately.

"If I hear you guys start moaning or some shit, I'm gonna start throwing pillows."

"Oh, shut up, Undyne, we're not even doing anything," Mettaton retorted. Throwing pillows. There was an idea. He returned to Papyrus. "On a scale of one to ten, how dangerous do you think it would be if I hit her with a pillow?"

Papyrus deliberated for a minute. "You'd be signing your own death warrant."

"Worth it." Mettaton slid silently out of his bag and picked up his pillow.

"What are you guys whispering about over there?" Alphys was curious.

"Oh, um, nothing," Papyrus replied unconvincingly.

Undyne sat up and reached for the lamp. "I swear to god, if you two are having sex over there—"

The lamp revealed Mettaton standing directly over Undyne. He brought the pillow down with all the force he could muster.

Undyne's scream of rage echoed throughout the house. _"I'M GONNA MAKE SCRAP METAL OUT OF YOU!"_ she shrieked, sinking her claws into her own pillow and hitting him so hard he fell and nearly dented the floor.

"Mettaton!" Alphys cried. "Undyne, watch out, making a new face plate for him is really expensi—" Her voice was cut off as the momentum of Undyne's swing carried the pillow right into her face.

Undyne's hand shot to her mouth. "Oh my god—Alphys, are you okay?"

Mettaton looked up from the floor apprehensively, knowing what was coming. A sixth sense told Papyrus to bury himself in his sleeping bag to avoid the impending storm.

Alphys shook her head, rubbing her cheek. "Oh. Now you've gone and done it."

Undyne had no idea what she was talking about. Mettaton stood and took a defensive stance with his pillow.

Alphys grabbed her pillow like lightning and tackled Undyne, who was taken completely off guard. Within seconds, the living room turned into a veritable war zone, three out of four monsters striking each other with pillows and screaming with laughter.

Eventually, Alphys tripped over Papyrus, still wrapped in his sleeping bag. He poked his head out with a scowl. "For heaven's sake, some of us would actually not like to be involved in this!" he exclaimed.

Mettaton beat him over the head with his pillow. "Too bad, sweetheart! Come on, I'm drafting you for my army!"

"I don't want to be drafted!" the skeleton complained, but he quickly grabbed a couch cushion and started thrashing Alphys.

It was all fun and games until Papyrus's cushion went wide and hit the lamp, shattering it on the ground and plunging them all into darkness.

"KNOCK IT OFF, YOU CRAZY KIDS, IT'S 3 IN THE MORNING!"

An extremely tired, irritable voice caused them to jump.

"Shiiiiiiiit, I forgot I opened that window earlier today," Undyne mumbled under her breath. She stumbled to the window, calling out, "Sorry, Mr. Manning. We'll be quiet now!" She shut and locked it with a bang.

For a few minutes they all just stared at each other in the low light from outside. Alphys shuffled and coughed. "Well. I suppose that's our cue to go to sleep now."

Everyone murmured in agreement, staggering in the darkness back to their sleeping bags, cuddling back up with their significant others.

"That was fun while it lasted," Mettaton mumbled almost inaudibly to Papyrus, who sighed deeply.

Undyne wrapped her arms around Alphys, nestling against her chest. "You know, I never realized you could tackle that hard," she reflected, already half-asleep.

Alphys smiled vacantly and patted her girlfriend's head.

Within minutes they were all asleep amid the mess they'd have to deal with in the morning.

At least they'd had fun making it.


End file.
